Castle Norwood was quiet. Castle Norwood was peaceful. The students were asleep in their beds. The teachers were asleep in their beds. That filthy, putrid, disgusting rat was…..
"OWWWWWWWWW!!!" screamed a suddenly alarmed Doc Harrison as a large nosed, snaggletoothed, crooked tailed rat sunk his teeth into the man's hand.
"Curse you Schnozimo!!!" he shouted as the scraggly rat released its bite and scurried away out of site. "Can I not at least get one decent night of sleep!"
It had gone like this for weeks. The large furry man, who was much more fur than man, had become the never ending target of Schnozimo, the castle rat who lived in the walls of Doc Harrison's Office.
Harry just didn't understand why this pesky creature was going out of its way to make his life so miserable.
Well, yes the Doc had ruined the silly little rat's tale, but what real purpose was a rat tale anyways. Oh! And yes there was the small matter of the traps he had set and the time he attempted to make rat soup out of him in a hot tub. But really, why did the rat have to take everything so personal. Hadn't he been punished by all the vomiting that the rat had caused by poisoning the food and drinks in his house.
In the few weeks that had passed since Harry's last failed attempt on Schnozimo's life, he had been attacked endlessly at night in his bed. Worst of all was that he always did the same thing. He sunk those crooked teeth right into the Doc's right hand. He now couldn't get any sleep on the nights Schnozimo didn't visit either. Somehow or another, he was going to have to solve this problem. The very next day, his answer would knock on his office door.
*******
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"Come in!" Doc Harrison shouted. "This is a clinic, there's no need to knock."
He turned around from a particularly difficult elixir he was brewing for phoenix burns. There was a group of 5th rank students going out to Hedge Hoggian Cliffs today to do field research and there was no doubt in his mind that one of them would bungle the experience and come to disturb him with an injury.
He turned around to see a uniformed girl with a sash around her waist that held a few nicely sewn badges on the end.
A smile immediately lit up his face as he uttered three words as a question, "Dragon Scout Cookies??"
"Yes sir," smiled the pretty brunette girl with large hazel eyes. "We are selling to raise awareness about the injustice of creatures that are bought and sold through magical imprisonment and conjuring. It's a terrible crime how…"
"Yes, yes, terrible, terrible. Poor thingies. What do you have and how much are they?" Doc Harrison asked hastily.
The young girl was a little put out that she didn't get to finish her awareness speech, but she answered Doc's questions anyways.
"We have Batwing Crunches, Milk Spuds, Dippidee Doodahs, Fragilistic Fizzies, Hazel Heaths, and Bibbidy Bobbidy BooHoos all for the low price of 1 trollar per box. AND if you buy 50, you get a free commemorative Dragon Scouts crossbow."
"A Dragon Scout crossbow!!" Doc shouted. "I always wanted one of those, but you had to be member to get one. Why are they allowing them now?"
"Upgrades. We are getting new crossbows and so we are using the promotion to get rid of our excess inventory. So can I mark you down for fifty?" the girl smiled hopefully.
"50 trollars is a lot of money," Doc hesitated, "but for Dragon Scout cookies it's always a bargain! I'll take 20 Dippidee Doodahs. They're my favorite. And then 10 each of the Milk Spuds, Batwing Crunches, and Fragilistic Fizzies."
"No Bibbidy Bobbidy BooHoos?"
"No, my stomach can take almost anything, but I am Ghost-tose intolerant. I'd break out in itchy hives for a week after just a nibble."
"Okay, I'll be back tomorrow with your cookies, but if you pay now I can give you the crossbow," the young girl offered.
"Perfect!" Doc replied.
He paid the scout her money and took the crossbow in to play with. He was on cloud nine! He was aiming around at everything in his office with the blunt little bolts that shot from the crossbow. Candle Jar – shhhhmmphh, thunk , crash. Wooden bowl - shhhhmmphh, thunk , clunkclunkclunk. Metal bowl - shhhhmmphh, thunk, cling, clang, clang. He didn't stop until he accidentally knocked over an expensive vile of dragon's blood that started eating a hole through his desk.
"Whoops! I better be more careful, or somebody could get hurt." He then began to think of the words he just spoke and muttered, "Or maybe somebody should be hurt."
A picture was forming in his mind of a large nose, crooked teeth, and scraggly whiskers. Doc Harrison's face slowly split into an evil grin, and he said, "I may have to do something about these blunted bolts. They just won't do."
Doc spent the remainder of that evening and the next morning trying to sharpen the bolts. However, there must have been some kind of magic safety spell on them that did not allow them to be sharpened.
"Ah well, I'll just have to knock him out with the bolts," he said to himself when he heard –
Knock! Knock! Knock!
He shouted for the person at the door to come in, but they didn't. They didn't even knock again. He went to the door to see who was bothering him and opened it to see
Cookies!!!
There were his 10 Milk Spud boxes, his 10 Batwing Crunch boxes, his 10 Fragilistic Fizzies boxes, and 20 ……What?!? 20 Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo Hoos!! But this wasn't right! They had gotten his order completely wrong. It was supposed to be Dippidee Doodahs!! How could this happen?!? It was then that he saw a note attached on the side of one of the Milk Spud boxes. He pulled it off and read the untidy scrawl of words.
Dear Sir,
Here is your order of Dragon Scout Cookies. Because of the recent loss in popularity of Dippidee Doodahs, the organization has decided to stop producing them. We therefore have replaced your Dippidee Doodahs with our topseller the Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo Hoos. We know you will enjoy them and we look forward to your future purchases when we return to the castle next year.
Thank You,
The Dragon Scout Roosting Building 11.
"This is ridiculous!" he shouted. "I am never buying from Dragon Scouts again!"
Which even he knew was untrue, because the other cookies were still delicious. He figured he could still use the cookies to bait Schnozimo now that he had a crossbow to shoot him with.
Little did he know, that Schnozimo had watched the whole scene with the Dragon Scout girl the previous day and knew all about the crossbow and Doc's allergies.
As the Doc now walked around the room placing cookies to lure out Schnozimo, the little rat himself was hurriedly crumbling up a couple of Bibbidy Bobbidy BooHoos into the Doc's drink cup. He finished just as the Doc was hiding cookies in the final corner. Schnozimo leapt nimbly off the table and under the chair.
Now, all he had to do was wait.
Doc Harrison got to his chair and immediately began drinking his Llamanian Lager, which had a funny sweetness too it today. He reached for and pulled out a Milk Spud cookie and chewed it happily. He sighed happily and washed it down with another big gulp of the lager.
There it was again, that odd tang. He scratched his ear as he looked down into the class and saw the crumbs floating in the glass.
Hmmmm….. he thought and scratched his nose, and then his cheek, and then his shaggy goatee, and then he saw them. Large blue bumps growing all over his skin
"Oh no!!!!" he shouted and jumped up knocking over his chair as he realized what was happening. "But how did this happen!"
And then he saw his answer. By knocking over his chair he had uncovered a hysterical rat who had been chuckling with glee. Schnozimo looked up into the burning furious eyes and stopped his laughter quickly.
"Time to go," he said to himself and scampered off. As he was running across the floor though, he heard a click, shhhhmmph!.
He tried to quickly change course, but it was not quick enough. Thump!! He had been hit right across his left thigh. He glanced back to see the menacing doctor reloading his Dragon Scout crossbow.
Doc Harrison was a great shot and almost never missed. He had clipped Schnozimo's leg on the first shot, and would only have one more shot before the furry fiend got to his crack. He had the rat lined up absolutely perfectly in his sites, but at the last moment he felt an itch just below his right nostril.
Schnozimo limped as fast as he could to avoid getting hit again and just outside his wall crack he heard the dreaded sound again, shhhmmmphh! He dove low for his crack and could feel the faint breeze of the bolt that crashed hard against the wall only centimeters away from him.
He heard Doc Harrison howl in anger and knew that he had escaped.
The Doc wisely burned the remainder of the cookies that could send him itching as he knew Schnozimo would take any chance he could to torture him. Although, the Doc was stuck with the itchy allergic reaction, he avoided bites for a whole month while Schnozimo's leg healed. He had not rid himself of the terrible pest yet. But at least for a short time he could get some sleep.
Sometimes, that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
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